This afternoon my brother Schuyler passed away. I guess you could say he was living on borrowed time, having been diagnosed in 2009 with a serious heart ailment. He did however outlive the veterinarian’s dismal prognosis and held on for 6 more years, how lucky we were.
Mom says that she will always think of Schuyler as her special little gamin; he was urchin-like, a ragamuffin, a waif, an adorable and lovable little doggy with a big personality.
It was always fun to take Schuyler places. He loved to ride in the car, just say the word ‘car’ and off he ran at breakneck speed to that car door. On the ride back home we always expected him to start barking as much as a 1/2 mile away. He somehow always knew he was going back up that driveway and anticipated being the first one out of the car. That was very important, to be first. We honored and respected that routine, for more than 12 years.
What I did not know and only learned this week is that it took him almost 4 years to adjust to our home when he was re-homed at age 2. We never learned the real story of how he came to us in the first place. My parents say wistfully that they should have gotten in touch with that family during those painful adjustment years and offered to only be part-time foster parents. For us it was simply love at first sight, so we were determined to integrate him into our life and see him happy and thriving. We never imagined it would take years to succeed, but eventually Schuyler did accept and love us all. I think he was quite content here and what he unconditionally gave us — his cheery and loving nature, his charm and camaraderie, his spontaneous joy at seeing us come through the door, has touched and made us better people (or in my case, a better dog).
You see, we feel that every dog or cat or rabbit in our world brings something special to the dynamics of our household and we cherish each participant for the magic they release. The energy from our animals is what nourishes us, says my Mother.
Friends, I am feeling very empty with a big hole that Mom says will only mend with the passage of time. Mom’s hole must be bigger than mine. She is so sad.
Tomorrow Schuyler will be laid to rest, I am sure his soul is encircling our house already.
To our sweet and lovely boy……. Schuyler we will love you forever.
May I Go?
May I go now?
Do you think the time is right?
May I say goodbye to pain filled days
and endless lonely nights?
I’ve lived my life and done my best,
an example tried to be.
So can I take that step beyond
and set my spirit free?
I didn’t want to go at first,
I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now
to a warm and living light.
I want to go
I really do.
It’s difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can
to live just one more day.
To give you time to care for me
and share your love and fears.
I know you’re sad and afraid,
because I see your tears
I’ll not be far,
I promise that, and hope you’ll always know
that my spirit will be close to you
wherever you may go
Thank you so for loving me.
You know I love you too,
that’s why it’s hard to say goodbye
and end this life with you.
So hold me now just one more time
and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me,
you’ll let me go today
Written for a beloved pet & friend by Susan A. Jackson